


Everyday Pitfalls

by Hammocker



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Cute, Don't do memes, Fluff, M/M, Pre-Slash, Sportacus can't stop giving health advice, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 10:32:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8887528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hammocker/pseuds/Hammocker
Summary: On his morning run, Sportacus decides to humor one of Robbie's more common ploys.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Have you ever heard the sound of an ironic ship breaking a memer? wOULD yoU LIKE tO?

Sportacus was on his morning run, flipping and hopping through the streets of Lazytown without a care in the world. Morning routines were important, after all, and the natural obstacle course that was the town kept him fit.

Of course, he wasn’t the only one with a morning routine. As he hurried past the town hall, Sportacus spotted Robbie in the distance, tossing a shovel beside a freshly dug hole covered in leaves. It was truly amazing what motivated some people to be active. Sportacus just hoped he hadn’t been up all night again.

Without even thinking about it, Sportacus flipped over Robbie’s pit and was all set to continue on his route. As he opened his mouth to greet Robbie, however, a thought occurred to him. He backflipped back over the pit and looked from it to where Robbie was crouching with twigs in front of his face. Robbie really wasn’t very good at disguising himself. How he fooled everyone else in town confused Sportacus, but the facades were mostly harmless so he saw no reason not to humor Robbie. Why worry over something he didn’t need to? Here was something he hadn’t humored, though; these holes Robbie liked to dig for him. He’d always jumped over them without a thought. It got him wondering.

He took one last glance at the “bush” before hopping into the hole. His feet touched ground again easily and the hole couldn’t have been more than four feet deep. Still, Robbie had done his best and he didn’t need to know that Sportacus could have lifted himself out.

“Oh no, I’ve been caught,” Sportacus projected in the “bush”’s direction.

“It worked?” he heard Robbie breathe.

“However will I escape?” Sportacus asked no one in particular, watching Robbie stand up out of the corner of his eye.

“It worked!”

“Yes, it did work,” Sportacus enthused, turning his head. “You got me, Robbie.”

A moment of silent gaping passed before Robbie started a janky jig around his pit, repeating “It worked!” over and over. At the very least, it was nice to see him happy and moving around. 

“So what’s the game?” Sportacus asked after a few moments of watching.

Immediately Robbie stopped dancing to kneel down and get in Sportacus’ face.

“Game?!” Robbie shrilled. “You think this is some kind of game, Sportadip?’

“Sure!” he laughed. “Why not?”

Robbie crossed his arms and put on a slight pout. “Villains of my caliber don’t play games,” he declared.

“If you say so,” Sportacus said, brushing the twigs off his shoulders. “Then what’s the- scheme?”

Robbie sat back then, his brow crinkling with thought. His head twitched back and forth and he evaded Sportacus’ eyes.

“I may- not have planned this far ahead,” he said after a few moments.

“You? Not planning ahead?” Sportacus echoed, earnest shock in his voice. “But that’s what you’re best at.”

“Well, I know that!” Robbie snapped at him. He shook his head and Sportacus could swear he heard it rattle. “Definitely had a plan somewhere in here.”

“You should always write these things down if you think you might forget,” Sportacus said with a nod. “Even if you don’t look at what you wrote, it helps.”

“And I suppose you write everything down?”

“Some things I do,” Sportacus told him. “Most of the time I don’t need to. I don’t plan, I just do. That works for me.”

Robbie gagged deep in the back of his throat, sticking his tongue out. One of these days, he was going to actually start choking and Sportacus wouldn’t be able to tell if it was serious or not. At least, if his crystal wasn’t there to help.

“Why would anyone look up to you, Sportaflop?” Robbie demanded, glaring at and leaning over him. “I mostly certainly don’t. In fact, I look down on you!”

“You would look down on me less if you helped me out of this,” Sportacus said, refraining from mentioning why slouching was bad for the spine. 

Robbie let out a bombastic laugh, tossing his head back.

“Help you out of my own trap?” he said, getting to his feet once more. “Why would I ever do that?”

“Since you forgot your plan, maybe I could come back later,” Sportacus suggested. “Or I could help you brainstorm.”

“I will not be told how to be a villain by a superhero such as yourself!” Robbie’s face scrunched up in disgust. “I’m insulted, Sportakook, I didn’t think you were so inconsiderate.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, Robbie,” Sportacus said, frowning. “I’d never want to tread on your status as local villain. I know it’s important to you.”

“You do?”

“It’s not really a secret. You look awfully proud, sneaking around like you do.” Sportacus blinked and considered the implications of what he’d said. “If you’d like it to be secret, maybe you should look less proud.”

“Should I let you do my job too?!” Robbie demanded, bending down to sneer at him. “There’s only room for one us in Lazytown, I ought to toss you out.”

“Ye-!”

Sportacus stopped himself. Not everyone was motivated by a positive attitude.

“No, please don’t do that, that would be- horrible. Just awful.”

“Exactly!”

Robbie grabbed Sportacus by his shoulders and made a great show of trying to drag him out. Sportacus was privy to a wide variety of grunts and groans of effort as Robbie gave his all to so much as budge him. Knowing what he knew of Robbie’s habits, Sportacus was certain that it wasn’t going to work. On one hand, it was good for Robbie to learn his limitations firsthand. On the other, it wasn’t a nice thing to leave him out to dry.

“Robbie,” Sportacus said. “There’s a better way to do this.”

“Don’t-” Robbie said between gasping breaths. “Tell me- how…”

Before he could finish, Robbie had to let go and back off. His chest heaved and he braced his hands on the ground.

“Alright,” Robbie spat. “What’s _your_ way?”

“Well, first you want to lock your arms around or under mine,” Sportacus said, splaying both his elbows out and offering his hands. “That way you have more leverage.”

“Don’t tell me what I want,” Robbie snipped, even as he reached out to grip Sportacus’ arms.

“Okay, on three, pull,” Sportacus instructed as he brought on foot up against the pit wall. “One- two-”

Before he got to three, Sportacus felt Robbie feebly tugging on his arms once again. At least he couldn’t fault Robbie for lack of enthusiasm.

“Three!”

With one shove of his foot, Sportacus propelled himself out of the hole. He may have used a bit too much strength. Robbie’s arms were still locked on his and as Sportacus flew forward, he took Robbie with him. The only sounds in Sportacus’ ears for the nex few seconds were Robbie’s shrieks as they tumbled and rolled over each other. When they finally came to rest, Sportacus was left lying on his back with Robbie desperately clinging to him.

“See?” Sportacus said, smiling up at him. “Not so hard when you take help.”

“You- you tricked me!” Robbie sputtered, eyes still wide and wild.

“No. You did pick me up for a moment,” Sportacus told him, sitting up. “I only helped a little.”

“A little?!” Robbie shrilled, letting go of him and backing off. “You may as well have picked _me_ up!”

“I could do that too.”

Sportacus put one hand on Robbie’s back and the other under his legs and hopped to his feet easily. By his expression, Robbie barely comprehended what was happening before he was on his back in Sportacus’ arms.

“You do like being carried, after all,” Sportacus said, grinning down at Robbie.

“Enough of this! Put me down!” Robbie cried, squirming in his arms.

“Okay,” Sportacus said letting Robbie down feet first and giving him enough room to stand on his own.

“Don’t think your- _nonsense_ will stop me from coming back for you!” Robbie declared, shoving a finger at Sportacus’ chest.

“I hope it wouldn’t,” Sportacus laughed. “I thought this was a lot of fun.”

Robbie gave an incoherent snarl from the back of his throat, clenching his fists and shaking them for a long moment. With one last offended gag, he turned and slinked off down the road.

“Bye, Robbie!” Sportacus called after him with a wave.

With a couple brief stretches and a power pose or two, Sportacus was on his way again. Robbie was a strange guy, for sure, but no one could say he wasn’t energetic, especially for someone whose diet consisted mostly of sugar. Sportacus wouldn’t pretend to understand his lifestyle, but then, Robbie probably didn’t understand his either. They didn’t have to understand each other to get along. It struck Sportacus as odd that Robbie didn’t understand that, but that could have just been another thing that they would never see eye to eye on. Maybe if Sportacus kept treating him well, Robbie would come around eventually. With how much they enjoyed each other’s presence, it was worth it to try.

**Author's Note:**

> Sportacus is just the most precious creature I've ever seen. He's sweet, he's got the most adorable accent, he's never condescending, and he's so nice to Robbie despite everything. I love this guy, he's so simple, but I love him, he's such a sweetheart.
> 
> I'm not ashamed of the filthy and garbage I write regularly. I'm not ashamed of being a dirty memer. Or, I am kind of ashamed, but this is another level. This is advanced shame. LazyTown broke me. LazyTown. Broke me. Why has God abandoned us? Help me.
> 
> In a more serious light, Stefan Karl, aka IRL Robbie Rotten has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and due to the procedure he's gone through, he'll be unable to work for a year or so. I know I'm a little late to the party, but if anyone can spare a few bucks towards the [GoFundMe](https://www.gofundme.com/2tm9tqk) set up for him, that's always gonna help, so I figure I'll leave it here.


End file.
